When you have grown up with a parent or carer who is constantly in a bad mood, criticises your every move, undermines you, gaslights you and behaves so erratically that you end up ‘walking on eggshells’ all the time it is entirely likely that you will develop the habit of basing how you feel on how others are feeling. When this habit is formed it is entirely necessary for the sake of one’s safety. You are a young child that needs love, food and shelter – you are trapped in your circumstances. You do not have the free will or the resources at this stage to leave and find a healthier alternative. The problem with basing your feelings on how others are feeling is that you are as a result unlikely to actually ever feel happy!
Taking this Behaviour into Adulthood
By the time you are an adult these behaviours are so engraved in your psyche that you are unaware of this dynamic that you bring into every relationship that you have. If you are always giving, giving, giving and constantly helping others to the detriment of yourself then it is more than likely that you have developed this behaviour of basing how you feel on how others are feeling without even realising it.
This behaviour affects all your relationships detrimentally, it is like a silent killer to healthy exchange. In romantic relationships this can sometimes end in disaster. You may even attract the complete opposite dynamic into your life which can often end in a relationship breakdown if you are lucky, or a violent situation in the other extreme – the co-dependant attracts the narcissist. To become balanced in yourself will depend on how far the scales of unbalance are tipped within the relationship. If the balance is tipped too far you will have to consider leaving the relationship so that you have the space to heal yourself away from the toxic energies. If violence is involved, or emotional abuse, then the balance is too far gone.
Step out of Denial
Balancing your energies is a vital component to successful relationships and contentment. You cannot continue to sustain a healthy balanced life if you are constantly basing your own happiness on the emotions and behaviours of others. Learning to change this behaviour is a subtle process, and the first step is to come out of denial and into awareness that this is happening at all.
Reclaim your Energy
It is at this point that you can truly ‘step into your power’ – an overused and corny expression these days perhaps, but a perfect description none the less. By recognising that you are placed in this spectrum of energy you are then in a place of knowledge. From here you can see the excess pool of energy that you have available as a resource that has been with you all along, you just haven’t seen it or been using it.
Soul Rebalancing Sessions can help you to shift this energy, remove blockages that are a barrier to finding your way to this energy pool so that you can step into your power.
You will learn how to combine analytical thinking with your heart energy, let go of outcomes and live in the moment in truth. And that’s where miracles happen.
Balancing your life is like walking along a tightrope… but if you take the time to learn its intricacies you will become more robust. You will learn that it is OK to feel for yourself… have your own feelings… make your own decisions… stand up for yourself and say ‘no’. Your abandonment issues will be healed.
Looking for Romance
Once you do this work you will be in a better place to meet your perfect mate, often referred to as your twin flame or a soul mate where you can have a rich and full experience. Your twin flame does not always magically appear out of nowhere as commonly believed – in some circumstances they can also appear in the relationship you already have. This is because you will both learn to feel relaxed and comfortable in what then transforms into a healthy, perfectly balanced relationship.
I will touch more on soul mate and twin flame relationships later – I believe there are many false ideas on the twin flame topic ‘out there’ which I’d like to explore more at some point. In short within each and every individual, we contain the masculine and feminine polarity, so actually one can only bring in their twin flame if the poles within themselves are integrated. I explain this in my image chosen for this blog post ‘Garden of Eden’’.
If you have any questions, please just ask.
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Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.